Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
