Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize