Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize