Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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