all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
