pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
