garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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