you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
