A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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