I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
