And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
