So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
