Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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