i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
