id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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