Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
