Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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