he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
