If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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