you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
