i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
