That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize