"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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