What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
