I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
