Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize