apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
