My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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