Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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