he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
