ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize