Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
