Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
