Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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