I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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