Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
