Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
