The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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