i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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