the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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