Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
