This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
