nut hugger
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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