All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
