just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
