I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
