Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
