do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize