He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
