I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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