i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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