I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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