omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Randomize
