3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
