saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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