he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
