it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I will pee on everything he values.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize