omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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