I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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