had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
