LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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