I heard we made out
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
