doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
