My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize