Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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