The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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