I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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