dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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