Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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