good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize